Technically speaking September was only four months ago.
But 2018 has been the longest year ever, and it feels like it was at least two years ago that I decided I needed to make some changes.
Back in August, every project I was working on had either stalled or was moving too slowly to see any real progress. My motivation had plummeted. I was in a rut, and I needed to get myself out of that rut, and I needed to figure out how to avoid falling into it again. And so in September, I came up with a short list of things I wanted to do by the end of the year. They weren’t huge goals - and they definitely weren’t dramatic - but it was about building a system that could support my bigger goals going into the future.
We’re fast approaching the end of the year, so it’s time to look back at how (and whether) my reboot has worked, and where I’m going from here.
Next week, I’m going to do a complete end-of-year report on this reboot, looking at what did and didn’t work over the past few months, and what it means for the future.
For now, I’m just going to do a quick update on how I’ve been doing this week.
It’s really starting to hit me, how close we are to the end of the year - and how close I am to the end of this little(?) project.
I’m also realizing that I never really set a clear end-date for this, beyond “the end of the year.”
Just a quick update this week, because… I kind of forgot that I was supposed to post this today, and my brain is fried from trying to meet my NaNoWriMo targets.
I fell into a bit of a trap this week. It’s a familiar one for me, one I seem to stumble into every time I want to make a big change, whether it’s with writing, or photography, or getting organized, or (this time) setting goals.
I start to think that other people have the answers, and that if I just read enough books or articles or blog posts, I’ll eventually stumble onto the right one, the one that brings everything into focus.
It never happens.
I suppose it was inevitable, and I’m not at all surprised it’s happening now, when the days are getting noticeably colder and shorter, and it feels like winter - and the end of the year - is just around the corner.
The doubts are starting to creep in.
Last week was kind of a bust. I made no progress at all.
But I am making up for it this week, and I feel like all of the things I’ve been working on are falling into place. I’ll get to the specifics in a minute, but in general, the last few days have been really good.
So I’m starting to feel like it’s time to make some changes to this little reboot of mine.
The past seven days have been… less than ideal. I’m still dealing with this stupid cold (the worst of it seems to be hitting me right about now), and construction on my building, and… yeah.
But! The reboot continues, even if it’s a little slower than I’d like at the moment. (If you’re just joining me and not sure what I’m talking about, here’s the explanation.)
This week, I’ve been thinking about my big goals.
Not the big things I’m trying to accomplish right now, or even my one-year goals (though there has been some of that), but the big goals. The things that stretch out over five or ten years. And I’m starting to realize that I don’t really know what those goals are. Or… it’s kind of hard to describe. I can picture exactly what I want my life to look like in that time, what I want it to feel like, but beyond that, it’s a bit of a blur. It makes actually planning for that future difficult, if not impossible. I'm limited to taking steps that feel like they're going in the right direction, without really knowing what the finish line looks like.
I’ve been kind of obsessed with todo lists this week.
I know. Try to contain your excitement.
Really, though, it’s a bit of a dilemma for me. For a long time, my go-to bio on social media included the phrase 'list-maker,' right after 'writer' and 'photographer.' I love a good todo list.
But I have no idea how to make one work for me.