Before COVID-19, I’d occasionally think about renting a vacation cottage somewhere, or booking a hotel room on the other side of town, and locking myself away for a few days to write. I’d daydream about another (quasi-)spontaneous weekend away, getting lost and taking photos and not thinking about anything else. A DIY creative retreat, with nothing to do but make art.
For the first time since March, I was able to start thinking about fiction again, and start taking photos again, and in the last two weeks or so I’ve even been able to concentrate for more than ten minutes at a time. This was the month that I started to feel like an actual, functional, creative, human being again.
That doesn’t mean it’s been easy.
Lockdown’s starting to get to me, guys. I’m: falling | rationing | discovering | planning | working | finishing | waiting | starting | making | switching
The last two weeks kind of blended together… I wasn’t sure I was going to think of ten things. But I’ve been: trying | getting | watching | debating | making | looking | catching | feeling | starting | wondering
Less than one hundred days left to go in this particular project, and I’m starting to wonder what comes next.
I ended last month’s creative review by wondering if it might be time for a reset. I knew I had to figure out some stuff with how I manage my time, and I had to figure out what I was going to do about Violet Lane. From a technical standpoint, I was happy with the photos I’d been taking, but from a creative standpoint, I was getting bored.
I must have forgotten about all that as soon as I wrote it, because when I sat down to write today’s review, I was sure that this funk I’m in has only been a couple of weeks. Not a couple of months.
So… these haven’t been the best weeks. I’ve been: starting | trying | making | forgetting | spending | reevaluating | finding | wishing | exploring | hoping
Things got off to a bit of a slow start, but overall, the last two weeks have been really good. I’ve been: starting | moving | thinking | getting | deciding | accepting | chipping | looking | setting | making
If everything goes according to plan, I’ll be finishing up work on The Black Sun in a month or two. Really finishing—I’m sure there will be another flurry of work sometime in the future, but I’ve gone just about as far as I can go with this particular story right now.
Here’s the thing: I love writing, and I love photography. I love studying them, I love doing them. And I’m not terrible at either of them—on a good day, I can admit I’m actually pretty ok at both of them.
But it’s always been hard for me to actually make myself write, or make myself take photos.