The last two weeks! I've been: taking | playing | hoping | remembering | catching | attempting | starting | searching | wondering | practicing
The last two weeks! There's been a lot of introspection. I've been: finding | falling | hoping | putting | watching | wishing | thinking | reevaluating | wondering | unsubscribing
This hasn’t been a great month.
I’ll just get that out of the way to start: I haven’t done nearly as much writing as I’d hoped, and photography has been a bit of a struggle, and I still haven’t started my painting.
But weirdly, I’m ok with that. I’m realizing that this is completely normal for me, and I’m learning how to work with it.
Trying to remember what I've done the last two weeks... going | feeling | planning | watching | starting | having | remembering | making | thinking | buying
I'm still at a creative low. It's not just photography - I wasn't all that enthusiastic about writing this week, either, and a lot of my other projects sort of stalled on me.
Ok, so I might be taking too many pictures of flowers lately.
This has been such a weird month, creatively.
It seems like I say that - or some variation on that - every month (which should probably tell me something), but… yeah.
First off: my schedule. I’ve changed my workout routine, which has had an impact on everything else I do through the day. And the impact has (mostly) been good: I can start writing a little bit earlier in the day, which fits my natural creative cycles better, and which means I meet my targets a little bit earlier, freeing up time for other things.
So that’s good.
This week. Ugh.
It’s been just over two months since NaNoWriMo 2016 ended. It’s been ten months since I first started thinking about maybe trying my hand at it. It’s been exactly a week since I typed “the end” on the story I started back in November.
It feels like a good time to look back and think about how the whole thing went.
I’ll start with some backstory. (If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you might know some of this already.) I used to write. A lot. At least 2000 words a day, four days a week, without fail. I did NaNoWriMo a few times, years ago… until I realized that it wasn’t really a challenge anymore, and that starting a new project in November would mean putting any current projects on hold for a month. I considered myself a writer before anything else.
The problem is, I’ve got a perfectionist streak, especially when it comes to writing.
I have mixed feelings going into the next year.
I mean, it’s going to be awful. We know that. (At least we’re prepared? As much as we can be, anyway.) I really don’t think any of us are going to get through the next few years entirely unscathed.
But I’m not entirely without hope. I still have moments of optimism. The feeling of motivation that hit me in November hasn’t gone away, even when I had to take the last couple of weeks off to focus on the holidays. And, while I’ve always had goals and plans, especially going into a new year, something feels different this time. Really, my long-term goals haven’t changed much, but they’re clearer to me now than they’ve ever been, and I’ve got a stronger sense of what I have to do to accomplish them.
And so, for 2017, my goal is to maintain that focus.