Welcome to September. A few days late, but time is still weird so I’m not going to worry about it too much.
I’ve been in a weird mood the last couple of weeks. I’ve been: figuring | breaking | trying | feeling | setting | attending | learning | going | hoping | starting
The last two weeks have been kind of slow, to be honest. I’ve been: figuring | talking | rebuilding | spending | starting | taking | trying | clearing | getting | missing
July was another slow month. It wasn’t bad, exactly—it was probably the most productive and creative month I’ve had since this whole thing started—but it didn’t live up to my hopes going in.
It’s not really an issue with the work I’ve been doing. It’s that there’s still a disconnect between my plans and expectations and the reality of the situation. My good days have gotten so much better than they were back in April or May, and my bad days aren’t nearly as bad as they were (I don’t spend nearly as much time staring into the void these days), but still.
The last two weeks have been pretty good, all things considered. I’ve been: finishing | learning | making | working | feeling | organizing | hating | loving | revamping | looking
June wasn’t the most productive month, even by pandemic standards.
But I’m ok with that. I needed the time to regroup and reset so I can get out of the weird holding pattern of the last few months and get back to work.
The last two weeks in a nutshell: making | hoping | falling | doing | figuring | loving | thinking | feeling | hitting | starting
For the first time since March, I was able to start thinking about fiction again, and start taking photos again, and in the last two weeks or so I’ve even been able to concentrate for more than ten minutes at a time. This was the month that I started to feel like an actual, functional, creative, human being again.
That doesn’t mean it’s been easy.